Denzel is a handsome man, even when he knocks on your door at 6:00 a.m. looking for a “store that sells Chicklets.”
“Do you know where you are?” I ask him. He standing outside on my doorstep wearing nothing but a short-sleeved shirt and shorts. It’s February. In Nova Scotia.
“I most certainly do,” he smiles that big, handsome, toothy grin of his.
“Okay,” I say. He’s allowed to be crazy if he wants. “What can I do for you?” I ask. Gotta admit, I’m a little embarrassed at this point because I’m still in my ratty old housecoat, the red one with the mustard stains. Don’t ask.
“You want to know why I’m here?” he says. “Let me tell you why I’m here. I am here because I was told Nova Scotia has the best Chicklets in the world.”
I stare at him. Chicklets? I think.
“Chicklets?” I say.
“I got myself a big ole craving for some Chicklets gum and they tell me this is the place to get the best kind.”
I narrow my eyes at him and say, “You can buy Chicklets anywhere. They’re exactly the same wherever you buy them.”
“Nope!” he says.
“Nope?” I say.
I sigh and invite him in. Usually I make the celebrities wait for me in the car, but I felt kind of sorry for the guy. He must have been freezing. He comes in and sits on my couch.
“Hope you don’t mind dog fur,” I say.
“Dog fur? Dog fur is my favourite thing! Dog fur and Chicklets!”
At this point, I’m thinking Denzel Washington is a handsome weirdo. Anyway, I get dressed and drive him into town.
“Now what’s this place?” he asks. I park in front of Toots, a confectionary store.
“This is where you can buy Chicklets.”
“The good kind?” he asks. I tell him yes, even though I’ve got no frigging idea what he’s talking about.
“Well thank you very much,” he says.
“Is there something I can get for you?” he asks. I shake my head and tell him I have to get to work before I’m late. And he nods solemnly, as if he totally gets it.
As I drive away, I glance at him in the rearview mirror. He takes the wrong door. Oh well, I think. They’ll be able to help him at the YMCA I guess.
I could have turned around to help him out, but I was already late for work.